rain and ramblings

i awoke to the sound of pouring rain. it's been a while since we've had rain here in dallas. the last time i saw it was most likely during hurricane ike. the weather was the only thing that got me out of bed, which is so contrary to how most people react when it's storming. i stumbled to the kitchen, poured myself a bowl of strawberry chex, and then shuffled around the living room getting myself ready. i walked outside, and i opted for no umbrella. my hair curled before i even got out from underneath the complex. it was a beautiful morning, and my friend said it reminded him of seattle. he said i would fit perfectly there. i smiled. i'm a different person today than i was even half a year ago. everyone cracks jokes about me being indie. independent makes complete sense. i like the feeling of being exactly who i am. rain isn't the same thing it was a year ago. once upon a time, it was God's sign that He loved me. now, i don't need that security blanket. God loves me and i know it, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. rain or no rain. contentment stems from security. i laugh when i think about the changes i've made and how great this day was. mellow, full of adventure and fellowship, listening to feist and pondering the significance of change and wondering what tomorrow is going to hold. my life is something beautiful, that's for sure. i don't ever want to let go of the beauty i've found in being who i was made to be. it feels like everything else just...fits when i'm me. everything falls into place, makes more sense. i lie down on my pillow and start smiling at the thought of who i'll be a year from now. i fall asleep to the sound of the pouring rain.