guatemala and cinnamon vanilla creme

my eyelids have been heavy for a week now. they tell me it's because of my allergies, "them" being people who have no idea what they're talking about. i haven't been sleeping well, not enough REM sleep or whatever it's called. i'm dreaming strange dreams of people i have never dreamt of. i'm lying awake at night listening to sigur ros and thinking about things that i never knew i thought. i'm tossing and turning and carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, a world i've never known or experienced fully. i'm studying for midterms in classes i don't understand. i can't turn my brain off. they tell me to take nyquil or tylenol pm or sleeping pills, "they" being those same people that don't understand my sensitivity to medicine. i'll be leaving for kentucky in the morning. i hope it's a good trip, i'll be connecting with old friends and making new ones, i'll be leading people i've never met into the throne room of God, and i'll be taking pictures and writing for the fifteen hours it takes to get there. i'll take lots of pictures and you guys can see how beautiful it is. "you guys" being the two people that read my blog. but it'll be good for me, to get out and start doing work outside of this campus, to be a part of something even bigger than CFNI and that's the american church. i pray that it goes well and that i come back with some kind of new perspective on at least one thing. that's my new prayer, God, change my perspective on at least one thing every once in a while, just so i know that You're still speaking to me. i'm bad at hearing His voice sometimes...