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does Your perfect love cast out every fear, 

or am i still dominated in the day to day by the very things

i claim to have abandoned (no pun intended) long ago? 

there is a longing deep in my heart

placed in the very core of my being, and not by me...

to be fearless and live my life in such a way. 

but does Your perfect love cast out every fear?

it's been another long day 

and i am tempted to just throw in the towel

deadlines, demands, devotion, drama 

all pressing in my face

and yet somehow, all that matters is that You are holy. 

original

my fragments are forced to the surface

i am choosing to make known the torrent of emotions churning on my insides

even though i wish to deny 

that i'm denying myself and have been all this time. 

where is the moment when i just finally understand? 

i am looking around and find nothing substantial

nothing that seems to make all this make sense. 

i want to change

but changing myself is the one thing i shouldn't change.

You're blocking my creative flow

the way i would describe You would be blank 

for there are no words in my heart or overeducated mind

to describe the passion that motivates me to take another breath

i am inspired in my lack of inspiration

because You live and move in and through me

i can feel Your redeeming blood pumping through my veins

and even though my nomadic nature desires a change, 

the only change i want to make 

is to be more like the Original.

midnight diners and ingrid michaelson

make me think funny things. could this be more perfect? 

oh, sure it's not the oh-so-stereotypical romantic flick we might hope for it to be. 

but i'm quite positive i'm alright with that. 

oh please, oh please be mine. 

this transcends all past understandings i had about wanting someone. 

this transcends all past feelings i thought i knew. 

this transcends all questions i could ever ask

this transcends all the love i thought i could contain. 

oh please, oh please be mine.

season's change

oh, my dear, i thought it was different this time. 

but here we sit, this spot on the avenue that is so familiar to my heart. 

was i always really this expendable? this worthless?

i'm blown back by the realities slapping me in the face

just like the bitter wind you promised wouldn't bite

why should i miss you? your words were probably always so empty

why should i wish you were here as i watch you walking away without one glance back?

and i keep coming to the same conclusions:

maybe you were never there. 

maybe you were never the man i thought you were. 

maybe you just shattered my heart into a million pieces. 

maybe now i understand why love is such a plague.