waltzing lessons

there's this passage in song of songs where solomon is pounding on his lover's door, trying to get her to let him in to spend time with her and love on her. i read it about a week ago and had no clue why it was in the Bible. it's nothing special, it seems to be just a description about how some woman is too lazy to get out of her bed to see her lover.

"i slept but my heart was awake. listen! my lover is knocking: 'open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. my head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.' i have taken off my robe — must I put it on again? i have washed my feet — must I soil them again? my lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. i arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock.
i opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone. my heart sank at his departure. i looked for him but did not find him. i called him but he did not answer" (song of songs 5:2-6).

today it hit me like a freight train why this passage is in the bible. as christians, so many times, we love on God in church or in chapel (for us bible school kids) and then we go on about our normal routine. and God is calling out to spend time with us and love on us. He is begging us to be with him. and we slap him in the face by saying, "i've already taken off that mask, must i put it on again?" "i've already worn out that facade, must i pick it up again?" "i've already worshipped you once today, Lord, isn't that enough?" we beg God for His presence and then when He shows up we're too busy. He wants to break through the door, but He is a gentleman and won't force His love on us. i fear for our future if we don't take hold of the opportunities that we have. remember the story of mary and martha? martha was too busy to sit at Jesus' feet? and let's not forget that she was busy preparing for Jesus. and mary, despite what she thought about how martha would react, just sat at His feet, knowing that His time on this earth was short and that He could be taken at any point...so she rested in Him. and even Jesus said that mary chose what is better. i don't want to be too late, i don't want to be one of those who thinks they're a christian only to find on the day that Jesus comes back that i'm left, that i'll be looking for Him and won't find Him, that i'll call Him and He won't answer. if all we're here for as Christians is to find some really extravagant way to jump around or some cool jam session that makes us feel better about our seemingly meaningless lives, then we have failed miserably. this faith is so much more. it is VIOLENT love, it is ABSOLUTE truth, it is PEACE (and not a magic cure). this faith will rip away at your flesh and destroy all that is contrary to HOLINESS. it will follow you everywhere you are, day and night, and it won't relent. it will seek you out if you reject it. it will burn on your insides until you're positive you won't survive. and we obviously don't want THAT faith - we so dance around the issue, convincing with our beautiful waltz, but we're cheating the steps. jesus said the road was narrow and seldom traveled - because it's not easy. but if we want TRUE freedom, it's the ONLY way. it's the difference between worshipping God and living in His presence.

LORD JESUS, i ask right now that you would purify my heart. take away all my desires for the things contrary to Your kingdom. You said that we are blessed when we hunger and thirst after righteousness. i pray that i would be so desperate for Your righteousness (for mine is as filthy rags) that i would not neglect you for even one day. i'm not going to sit here and put up some schedule that you have to work in. i'm not going to take my robe off and then complain if i have to put it on again, because i don't want to miss an opportunity to love on you. because i DO love you. with all that i am. You are the one i love; the object of my affections and desires. You pour out of me like water and i want to dwell with You. i don't want to miss it because i'm too busy doing other things. set me free from the constraints of time. i pray that You would complete this work that has been started in me. teach me how to waltz without cheating the steps. i wanna dance it Your way. amen.