justice
in the early morning light
when the sun's rays just awake
and the shadows flee the earth
i could be found dancing with justice,
his laughter forcing the darkness to hide,
his eyelashes beating like butterfly wings and
forcing a smile to the surface of my lips.
and in the midday, when the clouds are at their fullest
when it seems as though the sky is transparent
and there is no danger in sight
i can be found dancing with justice,
his little feet keeping in time with mine,
his heartbeat reviving a hope inside of me
that i had long forgotten.
even at twilight, when the stars have taken over
and there is only shadows that can come out to play
i would be found dancing with justice,
his fragile arms outstretched to the God of always
his little ashen hands extending more power than i've ever known.
it doesn't seem like much,
but when i saw him, i knew there was love to be found.
and so i did exactly what i said i did....
i danced with justice.
a harshly scripted farewell
she sat across the table, arms clasped tightly and folded pretentiously in her lap. "so you're telling me that after all the things we went through to be together, you're moving away?"
"that's what i'm saying. i can't be here anymore. circumstances have changed, dear. i'm not who i was, not who you thought i was, not who we thought i was, not who anyone thought i was, and i don't much know how to deal with that," he retorted defensively. didn't she understand how hard this was for him too? it's not like he'd planned on all these issues boiling to the surface and costing him everything, especially her. that was why he put up this defense; in all reality, he just didn't want to lose her. he reached across the table for her hands and she threw them down to her sides like anchors.
"this seems to be hurting me more than you, and i don't like that," she said with a frown on her face.
that's just because i don't want to admit this is getting deeper than i'd expected, he mused.
economics of spirituality
i've come to a very difficult place - a place where the economics of emotion rule. and in this case, in this kingdom, i am extremely broke and poor. this might come as a surprise to some, but to many i've become simply numb. there is an explanation for this, but i'm not altogether sure it's the sole reason that i've found myself in this place. and now i find that i can only see an oasis when there's music playing - in worship. when i sit down to pray, i'm a completely different person.
the reason?
when i worship, i only focus on how good God is. He is so merciful, He is faithful and kind, He is worthy, He is my shelter, my deliverer, He is altogether worthy and i live to give Him praise. but when i pray, that is when i have to take the bad in life with the good and present it to Him. the problem with this is that when i finally get to acknowledging the bad, i blame God for it.
but the truth is, anything bad we face in this life is a result of man trying to be without God. God is good and ONLY good. even in His judgement, He is good because His just, you see? and so by acknowledging the bad, i am ultimately acknowledging my need for a Saviour. and i need Him, there is no doubt about that.
hungry
i've discovered i have an insatiable hunger for the things i can't have.
which would be okay if God was unattainable.
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